INSPIRATIONAL MOMENT WITH MS DALLAS JACKSON

This Mimi Chick, ugh!


I’m going to leave Sex and the City alone for a minute and talk about something that’s been really grinding my gears these past few days, Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. This show has been my favorite train wreck as of late. Why? Because it has everything that we love to watch: women with the latest fly styles, drama, cheating, fighting, screaming, crying, etc... I’m ashamed to admit that I can’t get enough of it at times. But as I sit and watch the show, the level of conflicting emotions hit astonishingly high on my internal Richter Scale. Inside I am dying to tell these females to RUN from their ‘situations’ and never look back. I also want to tell them how stupid they are, and how much they deserve the situations they’re in. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but I’ve been working on letting my feelings out instead of keeping them in, so roll with me on this one, lol!


I have my own little personal ‘tifs’ with each of them, but the behind I ride the most is Mimi Faust. If I could have a one on one conversation with her it would go a little like this:
“Mimi! What the H-E-Double are you thinking!?! What makes you think that a man that’s been cheating on you with random chicks, for as long as you can remember, is going to - ALL OF A SUDDEN - up and be faithful!?! You’ve already shown him that you’ll accept him back if he says the right things and makes the right faces. You know his pattern better than he does. Don’t you want better for yourself? For your daughter? You are well off enough to survive without him. You need to go on ahead to court and start DEDUCTIN’ his pay PRONTO!!!!”


Then the Lord has to remind me that I was someone’s Mimi at one time. Just because I had enough strength to walk away doesn’t make me better. A vlogger, I love to watch, made a video that brought this point home very well.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9M5okb9W-A&feature=g-u-u


I was definitely humbled UNTIL I saw this:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q7qrMoIdso&feature=player_embedded


Then, I had another conversation with Mimi (in my head of course)!


“Mimi! Again! Who do you think you are!?! Do you think you were all big, bad, and cute acting all hard in front of the camera. Do you think those guys are laughing because of what you’re saying about Stevie? No! They’re laughing because you’re talking all big with your chest out and you might be back with Stevie’s behind TOMORROW! Who do you think you’re fooling Huney Buns!?! Surely not ME! Most definitely YOURSELF, though!”


“Woooooossssssaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww!”


Then I’d start talking to myself, and anyone that would listen, just like our Mommas and Daddy’s when they’re really mad and want to keep fussing!


“I don’t understand how such a BEAUTIFUL woman like you, that has everything going for herself, would just sit there and let somebody run ALL over you!?! Do you know how many women die of diseases they get from philandering men they ‘love’ so much. These men won’t even go visit them in the hospital, much less go to their funerals. And you are living with the man KNOWING that he was JUST with the other woman YESTERDAY! REALLY! Then, you put all this MESS on tv and expect nobody to say nothing? Where were those balls you grew FIFTEEN YEARS AGO!!!!!!!”


(More mumbling under my breath because I have to cool down.)


At the end of the day, God had to humble me. But he also showed me that those who have made it out into better situations need to show the others the ‘light’. We must be humble, because we can’t just sit there and act like our stuff don’t stink. We must be able to relate and show genuine empathy. We won’t be able to truly touch someone if we can’t do that.


My diagnosis on Mimi, as well as many others on the show, is that SHE. MUST. HEAL. She will not heal unless she removes herself as far away from STEVIE as she can. This is coming from someone who has done just that. Thank God it didn’t take me 15 years, but trust, it took long enough. Once you get to a place where you can think clearly, you can then start the healing process. It is a HARD process. It will NOT be easy. I believe that she is angry right now, and it will only get worse until it gets better.


When we as women hard wire ourselves to a man, the connection can stay even though we’re not plugged in any more. That’s why we must be careful ladies. And this is not just about sex. People can use others for mental, spiritual, and financial reasons. We can make detrimental choices if we put our guards down too soon.


Unfortunately, Mimi has a child with Stevie, so there is only so far she can go. But understand, that there’s always a price to pay when we make bad decisions.


I will definitely be doing some more Love and Hip Hop Blogs in the future!


Come visit me at twitter.com/fabulusmsdallas


Toodles!!!!

INSPIRATIONAL MOMENT WITH MS DALLAS JACKSON

Girlfriends... Part 2

(Sex and the City Series)

Speaking of the truth...


3)Our brains are not built for truth - they’re built for survival


(That’s pretty deep - I know. I’m not going to take the credit for it. This quote was made by a fitness author at a conference I watched on YouTube. Please forgive me for not knowing his name.)


How often have you been in a group of people and one of them starts going off about something dumb? And how many of those times has people in the group gone right along with the foolishness. No one is concerned about setting the record straight, they’re only concerned about going along with the crowd.


That’s why this statement hit me like a ton of bricks. It made me realize why I could kill a party in 2 seconds flat. I’m waaaaayyyyy too honest at the worst times. I tell the truth with no chaser. Ever since I was a little girl, I said exactly how I felt about any situation no matter who was around. I didn’t know how to grin and bare while holding in what I really wanted to say. Hence me committing social suicide.


We as females in this society have been bred to ‘go with the flow’. Just think about it. Think about the female high school cliques. In order to survive within the clique, one must not make waves or appear different than all the others. So if there is one female who ‘makes waves’ because she is a virgin when the group is known for being loose - guess who’s getting kicked out.


We were definitely not going to find a chaste female in the Sex and the City crew. But there was that time when Carrie walked in on Samantha giving ‘services’ to a delivery guy in her office (S4/E5). Samantha felt ‘judged’ when Carrie made a funny comment about it. She didn’t speak to Carrie for days. Judging from Samantha’s reaction, you know Carrie most likely didn’t call her out on her promiscuous behavior often. (This, ironically, ties into #2 about not being able to rise above the group mentality. If they don’t call you out - you can’t change.)


And last, but not least - - - > The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing


4)The ‘not-so-real’ friend.


As you guys know, I am a Sci-fi junky, and I recently went to see the Total Recall remake. I loved all the graphics and they restructured the movie. I especially loved the main character’s ‘friend’, Harry, who was put in place to keep his mind from believing anything other than what he was supposed to believe. Harry was real slick with it too. If Quaid, the main character, ever inquired about wanting a better life, Harry would say something like, “Everyone wants to do something different, but we have to pay our bills.” “You are lucky because you have a beautiful woman, why don’t you go home and make love to her.” Harry always had something to keep Quaid’s mind from going hirer.


Believe it or not, we all have or had, a ‘friend’ in our life like this. Whenever we want to think about doing something great with our lives, the ‘friend’ is always there making comments that quietly undermine what you say. They always find the most eloquent way to say, ‘you can’t do it’. Sometimes these people can even be family members. They plant negative thoughts in your head because they are unhappy.


It reminds me of the joke Katt Williams says about the people who look like they’re about to catch a stomach virus when they look at you.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB5K8dEsNF8


These are the ones you have to learn to love from a distance and take everything they say with a grain of salt. Surrounding ourselves with people who truly care about you is similar to training your mind how to think - positive thoughts only!


We have got to do our best to seek out the negativities within our circles and get rid of them. Yes, we do need someone to tell us we look fat and that dress. Yes, we do need someone to tell us that we need to leave that man - FOR GOOD! Yes, we do need the one that’s going to tell us that our stuff stinks. Yes, we do need the one that’s going to tell us that we are dead wrong for whatever! The GREAT friends are the ones that know how to tell us, and make sure we know that they still love us even if we’re mad at them for doing so.


I don’t know about you, but that’s the type of friend I need.


Ya’ll have a wonderful week, and come check me out at twitter.com/fabulusmsdallas


Toodles!!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVJBhDoGapM

INSPIRATION MOMENT WITH MS. DALLAS JACKSON



Girlfriends...

(Sex and the City Series)

Girlfriends - can’t live with them; can’t live with out them. Well, in my case, I actually lived with some of mine, (I have 3 sisters aka built-in girlfriends). At times they can be a sound board when you need to vent, and a wave maker when all you’re desperate for is calm waters. They can be the ones that have your back, or the ones you need protection from. They can be your confidence when you have none, and also help you throw a pity party. They play the role of mother, counselor, aggravator, nurturer, tear wiper, helper, etc... No wonder why we put so much weight on the words they say. Probably even more weight on the looks that shoot from their eyes, and the disapproving sounds that come from closed lips. Either way, there’s no way for us to survive without this precious network of feminine support.
I just have a few bones to pick:
1) Sometimes our friends can be so compassionate about our situation that they end up doing more harm than good.
There once was a time when I would constantly complain and sulk about my weight. My audience was usually my oldest sister, Donna, or one of my friends. I sounded like a sad broken record. I know there were a few times they wanted to ball their fist up and sock me in the face because I wouldn’t shut up. But they would do what every good friend worth their salt would do - tell me I was smart and beautiful no matter what size.
I can’t tell you where I would be without their encouraging words throughout the years. I heard every cliche known to man come out of their mouth. I would hear things like: “There are men out there that like big girls”, “You’re a heavy duty cutey”, “You’re just tall”, or “Love yourself”. The minute I felt down, or screwed up on a diet, I would go over those conversations in my head.
Eventually I got to a point where I was fed up with my situation and those conversations no longer did the trick. I remember being really frustrated and I decided to be brutally honest with my friend Charles (honorary ‘guy’friend). I said, “I’m starting to feel like people are telling me things to pacify me in the situation I’m in now.” Meaning: people are telling me things that keep me ‘ok’ with being where I am.
By no means am I saying they were doing this on purpose, it’s quite the opposite, they were saying those things because they felt I needed it. But, I came to realize that those words became a crutch. I eventually had to face the truth and realize that my health is the real issue. Ironically, getting a man and being accepted in society are merely side issues.
Either way, my true friends support me on the journey I choose, whether it’s a journey to health, or a journey to love me - just how I am. On my path to finding my truth, I realized that I do not have to accept my fat to prove that I love myself (this is an entire blog in itself). I would not have gotten to this place if I was still leaning on my “support crutches”.
2) Most of the time, we can’t rise above the mentality of our girlfriend group.
The ‘Girlfriend Group Conversation’ is the backbone to Sex and the City. Each member has a distinct personality we can all relate to. Samantha is the go-getter that sleeps around, like a man, with no remorse. Miranda is the smart one who doesn’t ‘need’ a man. Charlotte is the good girl who fantasizes about getting married. Then Carrie is the free spirit who’s always lost in her thoughts while trying to figure life out. These girls lead distinctive lives but clearly lean on each other for emotional support.
The other day I was watching the beginning of season three. Big had left Carrie again at the end of the previous series, so she was in the midst of healing. The whole crew was on their way to a Fireman’s Calendar Contest. By the time things were over, Samantha had found herself a fireman to go home with, Miranda was to herself, Carrie was trying to shake off a new suitor, and Charlotte had gotten herself super drunk. While on the ferry back, an extremely wired up Charlotte went into a drunk stupor and asked Carrie why she wasn’t married. Carrie, being the great friend she is, gave her the old ‘you are smart and beautiful’ talk and rolled her eyes at Miranda for abandoning her in the situation.
These scenes give you a great picture of the mentality of the group. These women are independent go-getters that are trying to live life to the fullest. But they have one flaw - promiscuity.  They all know that Samantha is going to screw anything she thinks is going to give her a good time. They rarely confront her about it unless she’s talking too loud (in which she does the next morning during breakfast with them in a busy diner). Miranda is too busy trying to get ahead at the firm and fighting for women’s equality that she can’t see she has a good man that wants to love her. And, Carrie is still so hurt by Mr. Big that she can’t give a half descent guy a chance. Let’s not talk about Charlotte. She’s so confused, she doesn’t realize that it’s her promiscuity that keeps her from finding someone descent.
I love all these characters to pieces, but they can’t get out of their own way because it’s the blind leading the blind. You can’t tell you’re friend that she’s heading down the path to destruction if you’re walking along side her, especially if you both think you're on the right one. You definitely can’t tell her how to get off the path either. So basically, the advice that they give each other keeps them in their normal self-destructive patterns.
But they look great doing it, right? lol!
Stay tuned next week for Part 2 of Girlfriends...
And come check me out at twitter.com/fabulusmsdallas
Toodles!!!