Sex, Love & Hip Hop!
I can’t! I just can’t! I was really going to go with straight Sex and the City for the next few weeks, but then I saw episode 4 of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. Whhhhhhhyyyyyyyy did I do that. My mind goes on SO many crazy tangents whenever I see these extremely beautiful, yet severely insecure, women go for these tired behind dudes. It makes my skin crawl! But don’t worry, I will definitely be breaking it down and tying these things together.Clips from the previous show reminding us that Joseline found out that she was pregnant by Stevie J before the episode starts. Stevie J is supposedly in a long term relationship with Mimi, in which they have a daughter, and it is now obvious that he has been cheating on her with Joseline. Of course, Mimi had confronted him about being unfaithful before but he lied. Mimi found out the truth, and about the pregnancy, when Joseline invited her to lunch to let her know.
As Episode 4 is beginning, we see that Ariane has invited K. Michelle over to her place to have girl talk with her and Mimi. Mimi gives K the full rundown of what happened and K sympathized with her because she had been through a similar situation with her child’s father. The show cuts to Ariane on the monologue screen and she states that she had been telling Mimi she deserved better for YEARS. When the show returns back to the conversation, Mimi proceeds to say she’s ‘all about moving forward’ for her and her daughter.
Meanwhile, Stevie is trying to smooth things over with Joseline since he took her to have an abortion. Fortunately for him, it doesn’t take much because she is so insecure she believes every sad line he gives her. All he has to do is throw in a couple ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I got your backs’ and she’s back on the team, or should I say stroll. Side note: I actually really feel bad for Joseline because it is very evident that she had been taken advantage of in her life. Apparently, Stevie found her in a strip club, and I guess she feels like he had rescued her. Either way, her state of mind is easy for any guy to manipulate. But, in this episode we hear her chant a familiar statement, ‘I will never let him do this to me again.’
One of the other ‘couples’ in the show is Scrappy and Erica. I use the term couple loosely because Erica is only a ‘convenient place holder’ for Scrappy. She just doesn’t know it yet. Erica and Scrappy have a daughter from when they were together the first time. During their first run, Scrappy dumped her for Diamond. After Diamond did the same thing to him and left him for Soulja Boy, he ran back to Erica with his tail between his legs. Scrappy now has Erica under the impression that they are working on building a stronger relationship, even though he decided to move out.
In a conversation Erica had with her mother after Scrappy was gone, her mother inquired about how everything was going. You can tell that her mom was skeptical of the relationship and she didn’t want Erica to get hurt again. You can tell that Erica had no clue what’s about to come her way because she was so adamant about her and Scrappy going all the way this time. Meanwhile, Scrappy told his mother that he has yet to tell Erica he didn’t think it was going to work out between them. In true Scrappy fashion he had been kindling a relationship with Buckey (Flavor of Love) unbeknownst to her. Ofcourse, all the while Erica is under the impression that Scrappy is not going to hurt her like he did the last time.
Here’s my Sex and the City tie in - - - > Doesn’t that sound like Carrie and Big? He did that to her for six seasons all the way through to the first movie. Always setting her up for the ‘Big’ fall. < - - ok, that’s it, lol! But this is what all these relationships would like if they make it to 6 seasons, let’s not even talk about a movie.
Ladies! This is what happens when we get ourselves connected to a boy. This is what happens when we get ourselves into adult situations when we ourselves have not fully matured yet. Don’t let the government fool just because they say 18 is an adult. Aaliyah said it best, “Age ain’t nothin’ but a numba!” This is what happens when we are dickmatized and no one knows the REAL meaning of love. Go back and read some of my posts if you forgot.
What is a boy? He is a male that has yet to grow into a MATURE adult man. He lacks many of the qualities expected of man. He cannot keep his word, or his whistle in his pants. He cannot provide for a himself, much less a partner or a family. Many have fragile egos and are very insecure. This may be hard to see because their emotions are held under the surface of false confidence. They prey upon insecure females to feed the need for validation. And they are EXTREMELY selfish.
Stevie J and Scrappy are perfect examples. Stevie has been playing house with Mimi for years and sleeping with Joseline behind her back for 6 months. Not only that, he also has multiple baby mamas. I feel that Stevie J thinks Joseline and Mimi, or women in general, are easy to manipulate. He convinced her to have an abortion out of his own selfishness. He’s concerned about keeping things cool with Mimi and making money. He lacks accountability, responsibility, stability and integrity. He has by no means amassed the qualities needed to create a stable environment that a family unit requires.
Erica has been with Scrappy for the long run, through thick and thin. She has even given him a child. He left her high and dry when he saw something that he wanted. That’s what children do when they see a new toy, the old one gets dropped and left for the dog to chew up. After he got a dose of karma, he ran back to Erica all hurt and she took him back. But this time she was a little stronger and made it clear that she wanted better. Once he saw that she was serious and it wasn’t going to be as easy, he went off to find ‘greener’ pastures. Basically, he didn’t love her enough to own up to what he did and put REAL WORK into the relationship. That’s not what’s up.
We have many grown boys walking around looking like men and they’ve learned a few tricks to keep us thinking they are. Some females think that if a man has money then he has everything needed to be her husband and the father of her children. That couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s really easy for us females, who haven’t fully matured, to mistake them for men by projecting qualities on them that they don’t posses. We, as females, have to start taking responsibilities for our actions. Erica, Mimi, and Joseline, like many of us, have linked themselves to grown boys prematurely and are now suffering the consequences. Now they have to heal from this situation while still being linked with these guys for a lifetime.
Females are always talking about, “I’m moving forward.” Or say things like, “He will never hurt me again.” And when I hear that, my eyes glaze over and I want to implode. Do you know why? Because give it a few days and they will be back with the same dude probably pregnant or ready to get married. I could never understand why they would go back to someone that hurt and betrayed them so easily. Then I realized it was because they have a strong soul-tie with that person, and they never gave themselves a chance to truly heal from the situation. They return back to the same grave to dig an even deeper hole than before.
This boils down to the Soul-ties we create out of immature decisions and the environments they create that have us in self-destructive patterns (i.e. Carrie Bradshaw). We must stop physically, emotionally, and spiritually connecting ourselves to grown kids. We must take the required time out to heal and grow. We don’t need 6 seasons and a movie to learn how to respect and love ourselves.
With Love - Yours Truly,
~~ Ms. Dallas
Come check me out at Twitter.com/fabulusmsdallas
Toodles!
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